Am i Dreaming?

my heart is like a deep black tunnel 

to which it has no end. 

i have no remorse on things i have done 

but then again it all depends. 

i've cried to many times even putting myself 

to sleep. 

but just how deep can love really go when 

your heart has been pushed so steep. 

should i sell myself short and feel so 

worthless 

wen really it shouldn't even feel like its 

my fault 

should i give up on something i've kept 

this long 

and move on with my life or should 

i just quit 

how do i know if this feeling i have is real 

or if its truely just another one of lifes 

silly jokes. 

i put my heart on the line one to many times 

all i do is end up hurt. 

but not this time! 

all the questions keep circling in my mind yet 

i still havent found the answer to satisfy 

my search for what many may call true love. 

all i ever found was something i believe is lust 

something that feeds your curiosity till things 

go wrong. 

but in my definition it fed my curiosity long 

enough to make me strong. 

some people come addicted searching for 

something that as of right now i feel isnt real 

or could it be its real i just pushed gaurded my 

heart so tight to the point i cant really feel. 

so my question here is if im dreaming? or is 

this reality? 

and that true love is not real?